


Desire Makes You Sick

by Bawgdan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 08:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18518029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bawgdan/pseuds/Bawgdan
Summary: Being in love changes the chemistry of your brain.





	Desire Makes You Sick

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It took a lot of strength of the heart to work up the nerve to just _tell him_. A year ago, she could not have been convinced that the heart needed toughness. Pakunoda says it's because she has never had to use it. She has known Chrollo for a long time. Why it took a year for her feelings to make her sick, she does not know.

Machi used her metaphorical heart, not the muscle that pumps blood, to confront Chrollo about the state of her mind.

"Is that all that has been bothering you?" He sits across from her outside of a small cafe, hasn't touched his coffee. It's just the way he likes it, lighter than a brown paper bag.

This response crushes her. She just holds her mouth open, blinking—Machi discovers that her 'hypothetical' heart is made of glass. This is why she doesn't use it. All over, it cracks. 

"It has been troublesome, to say the least, carrying this in my head." She admits. Why wouldn't she be anymore honest?

"How long will it go on? Will you outgrow it?" His face is stolid. One of his only two emotions. At the very tip of her tongue, she almost bites _I'm not a child_ —there is no more growing to do but she just holds her lukewarm cup of tea.

From where they sit, she can see the ocean over his shoulder. So she stares at its vast glistening blue and his white collar shaking with the breeze.

"I hope so." Her voice dies in her throat.

"I hope so too. It's such an unfortunate sickness to have." Chrollo looks down and pushes his coffee to the side. Machi has ruined his taste for it.

When he sees that he has destroyed her, he places a hand on top of hers. Machi doesn't have an outburst like women do in books and movies. She freezes and her eyes glaze over. The mental work it took to get here, it disturbs even the cruelest parts of her personality. 

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Chrollo has never told her lie.

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